HOOP

In counseling we learn a lot of different models and ways to help people. It is more than 10 years ago I graduated Social Work and slowly I realize what it means to integrate different models (and life experience) in your being.
It's like having a big cupboard inside with lots of different sections. While I listening with my heart (what I think is the most important aspect of counseling), I can open a specific section and share something what can help someone. Knowledge what you don't even realize you have, till you feel someone might need to hear it.

Central in counseling with women coming out of prostitution is Sexual Brokenness. I am thankful for the subject during my studies and for the experiences I had with one of the disabled clients I worked with, counseling him in his sexuality.
It empowered me to speak openly about it. And that is what I need. Sometimes we have to break open suppressed traumatic sexual experiences in the childhood. In order to feel the original anger again.  In order to help someone understand their current behavior. In order to forgive and give it a place of rest in their hearts. Sometimes I have to ask about someones current intimate relationships and the link with prostitution.

I am grateful for one of the foundational lessons we received at school: To be involved on a distance. I hardly take problems home, otherwise I would not be able to do it. Sometimes it happens... when I build a deeper relationship with someone and she is going through a lot. I learned to see the women I work with not to see as my friends. But we see that restoration comes through authentic relationships. This goes sometimes deeper than a once a week counseling relationship. But especially then: it is necessary to keep up healthy boundaries.

I use the different models I learned at school. I work with thought patterns, with the context of the family. I try to expand their insights in their inner world that they start making connections between 'old pain' and 'recent pain'. I use aspects of the Transnational Analysis, where they learn to interact more intentional. I sometimes give them tasks and homework. I learned that my clients are responsible for their restoration and need to work on it. We come along. Not all of them are really understanding that.

And yes, Jesus is central in my counseling. Yes I use all kind of models and techniques. But most of all I am thankful for the Hope Jesus offers in every hopeless situation. Jesus died on the cross. He carried our pain, so we can forgive. And He carried our sin, so that we are forgiven. The foundation for our redeemed freedom.
Recently I had a conversation with a Penny* who really needs to choose between 'Following Jesus and restore' or 'Falling back in sin and live a double life'. I could explain her that feeding and hiding sin and spiritual growth are not going together. It will destroy her. She needs to choose life.

Please pray for me, for every counseling I am doing. It is a big responsibility: working with precious wounded souls. But the breakthroughs are HUGE, if you see it. (Another thing I learned with working with disabled clients: noticing and celebrating all progress, how little it seems to be from the outside!)