Vrouens wat in Prostitusie vasgevang is / was
For 5 years I have experience in working with women in prostitution.
(Mostly women - In total I worked with around ten men as well who were working on the streets as prostitutes.)
It is an honor to journey with them. What a privilege! I am witness of deep brokenness, but I also see the Lord working on such a powerful way!
We believe prostitution is caused by hurt and the act of prostitution increases the hurt. No matter how good the circumstances are, I am against prostitution as 'A Job', because of the damage it brings. (You can read an article HERE).
I work with the women on different stages in their process of coming out of prostitution. The longer I work with them, the more I realize that although they have certain patterns and needs in common, they are individuals, with an unique character. An approach what works for the one, will upset the other. It is all about building up that relationship of trust, where miracles are happening!
Outreaches
Regular we go out in the evenings, to the dark streets, to chat with ladies, while they are working, while they are waiting for their clients. We always go in teams, the streets are not very safe in Cape Town.
Often people ask me how we approach them. Most of the time it clear a woman is in prostitution, but not always. We actually never speak about prostitution in the first place. We just start chatting! We introduce ourselves and we tell them Jesus loves them. We hand out something to eat (soup in winter-times!) and a card with scripture and our contact-details. We ask about the needs a lady has. And from there we see how the chat develops. Sometimes it is a quick encounter, sometimes we have a deep and longer conversation. Especially when we already know a lady, the conversations are longer and more personal. Often we pray together with a lady, in the dark place where she is. Tears are flowing and the Lord is really touching them.
Sometimes they run away from us. Sometimes they run towards us.
Change is hard
Real change is hard. We can see that when we look to our own lives. When I look back how much patience God had (and still has!) with me... The only logical response is that I have patience with others.
Coming out of prostitution is a complicated process. The money is good, not blessed, but good. It is hard to find another job. (Most of the ladies never finished high school) Almost always there is an addiction involved. An addiction costs a lot of money! Some of them are working for pimps, or even 'owned' by pimps. There is a lot of fear for the consequences of leaving. Often it is the fear of the unknown. Fear creates passivity, staying in the same circle. If you look to this reasons it is already almost impossible to leave this lifestyle. When you realize their backgrounds (in most cases the lady went through sexual abuse on young age) and their brokenness... it is really a miracle of God when a lady steps out of this circle.
We realize we cannot make a decision for a women to exit the lifestyle of prostitution. She needs to be ready to make that decision for herself. This is painful, because we see the suffering she is going through. We stay involved. We always try to comfort, encourage, and help where we can. We celebrate the moments that she is thinking about other possibilities, but we learned we have to wait till the right moment. When we help too much too early (with a lot of effort, finances, time, shelter) and she is not ready yet... she will fall back. (She feels failure and the team feels discouraged.) Only when she is really showing 'active specific steps' in this process of change, we know it is time. (For example: someone contacts us, is asking for help and shows up on the appointment.) When she is ready, we are ready! Then we will see where her needs are and we see where we can help her!
Journey of Hope
When a lady comes of the streets it is a great miracle. We celebrate. And the journey of restoration starts. We first address the most urgent needs. If she don't have a place to stay, we organize a place for her in a shelter. If she don't have income, we see how we can help on that area. A woman can start with our 'Hands of Hope' Project. She has to make bracelets to get some extra money. (The coils of these bracelets needs to be in a specific order, if she makes mistakes, she needs to do it over, in order to learn to work precisely!) Later on she can do some volunteer work to generate some income. (Hopes Up Project) During the whole process she gets counseling, is involved in group meetngs and she gets help with her budget, her CV and her ID-document. She can follow a course or joining a craft-class. (depending what area...)
I absolutely love doing counseling in this stage of the process. Often, not always, is the women ready to face and start working on her issues, what made her doing prostitution in the first place. She wants to heal from the pain of her past. Some conversations are very intense with breakthroughs. Other conversations are focused on learning to speak about emotions. But they are never boring!
On the beginning of this restoration process we see the woman is often in a so called 'honeymoon' stage. Later in the process she faces difficulties, often in Shelter Life... or it takes too long. There is always the possibility the woman falls back in prostitution. It is painful, but we know there is always hope in the Lord. And we are encouraged by the ladies who are making it!
Creating Awareness
We believe it is great we reach out to the ladies in prostitution, but actually it is the task for the whole community. And especially task for the Church. There is a big gap between the willingness of a church to help and the response of people in a church towards a woman in prostitution. When a woman comes in a church and don't have the 'right' clothes, and she feels judged... she will feel like she wants to dissapear. That is why we try to build bridges between people in churches and between women in prostitution. We do presentations. We ask people to take someone with them to church or to their cellgroup, that they get introduced on a natural way, where they feel welcomed. It is good that a woman gets her own network.
I finish with a personal memory - how this 'creating awareness' can happen spontaneously as well (and is happening more than we realize!)
I walked in Paarl, late afternoon from the train station to my co-workers house. I was totally in my own world, listening to nice music on my phone. Suddenly a woman touched me and pointed me to one of our ladies who was calling me. Brenda*. She looked so skinny and sick. I walked towards her and embraced her for a long time while she was collapsing and crying in my arms. I just hold her. I prayed for her. And I promised her to come back later on during our outreach with food. It was getting dark. Brenda* was not able to walk far. So I left her. But later we came back. We were feeding her. And we tucked her in... on a corner of the street. The next day my co-worker booked her in a shelter and brought her to the clinic where she got medication for her TB.
The next day I saw the woman again who brought this girl under my attention. She had watched us... and was in tears about the work we did. That actually people care. And she promised to pray! Sometimes I still greet her when I walk in Paarl. I know it did something in her life as well.
